The Scent Of Love.

On withering flowers I laid
Upon the dark, grey sand.
While the sky above cried,
The pain, it never died.
Isn’t it too dark? You’d said
So I showed you my heart
Because the world around,
It seemed brighter instead.

But you,
You had me surprised
When you lifted me off my feet,
Took me to the land unknown,
Showed me the sun, you had.
I watched it light up that face
Of yours.
You’d laughed,
It echoed all around
And your words
that fragrance had me lightheaded.

I knew, it had to end
So, I left my heart at your door.
And held your hand, inhaled in deep,
When you led me back
Into my world.
And I’ve clung to that scent ever since
The scent of love.

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Not Good Enough.

You see?
That brightest star, in my dismally grim universe?
That was You.
Or that sunrise-
Blasting crimson blood and glittery gold-
That was you, in my empty sky.
Twinkle of the moist eye;
That longingness-
That was You.
And listen!
Can you hear?
Pounding of the delirious heart?
That betraying loyalty:
That was You.
Humming of the hunter?
That selfish love;
That was You.
You see now?
All so prim
Everything Perfect
That was You.
You were the balanced mind and a working plan,
I was the crazy heart and a misaligned map.
It was me all along, you see now?
I was not good enough.
For You.

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What Killed Me.

Sun was never really warm,
Cold blood pulsed through veins.
Eyes never actually meant it
When Muscles curved into smiles.
Not a thing was ever enough
Breaths never at their pace
Winds slapped hard in face
Dry lips bled, all so calm.
Words pierced through the heart,
Bare feet felt the blades.
Longed sight, never met the eyes
Storms in head, never died.
Quiet around, something erupted inside
Couldn’t figure out, where the lines coincide.
Bright lights burnt holes in skin,
Dark and dreary, suited just fine.
So when, the blood seeped out
Last breaths calmed down.
And somewhere buried deep in guilt
The storms finally died down.

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Missing.

Have you seen her?
That girl:
With her tangled black locks and dark, dark eyes?
Lost her somewhere – don’t know where to look.

‘Searched behind those towering books and racks,
Loved to read – She told me that.
Nothing to be found.

Peeked into all the corners down
Those mysterious alleys,
Everything seemed to relate to her,
Yet no sign.

I hunted her, between friends and foes
And worldly woes – though she never belonged there-
Not a word.

Now as I sit back and think
I’ve nowhere else to look.
For her.

Didn’t know her that well,
I realize now,
Never let on much; that one.

Shook me in and out, she did
The last time I met her,
With her tangled hair wild, wide eyes bulging out
I lost my muse she said,
I don’t know where to start.
Words wont come to me she said,
My world’s falling apart.
Turned my back on the mirror,
Crazy much? I mocked
I looked back and she was gone,

Haven’t seen her since and my mind
Is kind of fogged.
I miss that twinkle, that wild joy;
I miss me.

And I have nowhere else to look.

Writer’s Note:
This is about an individual in search of herself, she seems to have lost herself in the process of adapting to the world around her.

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Alive Death.

Ragged breath and stinging eyes
Torn heart and weary soul
In light that’s dark-
In life that’s dead;
I dwell.

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Silent Sighs.

Ive watched My desires;

Burn down to ashes

And seen your dreams,

Shatter into pieces.

Ive felt me cry

With your aching soul

Ive seen you grieve

Through my stinging tears.

All these years

Me along you,

Struggling through fears

Empty days and

Sobbing nights,

Ive always wondered

Why does all darkness

Call our hearts

Their home?

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Perfectly Wrong Moments.

Things meant for us have this uncanny capability of finding us.

At one time, there’s you, yearning and craving for this object that instantly becomes the center of your universe, trying so hard to achieve/get it and every single time it just slips right of your hands. You try so hard to get hold of it, plan and replan your strategies, polish your strengths and improve your weaknesses, build and rebuild every broken idea. But then you sit back in a dark corner because nothing really works- accept your failure – even put the blame on your fate.  You watch it being awarded to someone else, so carelessly shoved in hands that barely know its importance, your deepest desire being handed out like petty brochures of some run down business. And then, right when you get over it, when you finally succeed in burying it somewhere deep in your heart, just when your tears run dry, this thing you loved once, comes speeding towards you out of nowhere, hits you hard knocking the breath out of you.
It has that same sparkling glow and alluring charm that leaves you staring at it like anything, the magical aura still surrounds it that had driven you out of your mind once. But for some unknown malignant reason, it just doesn’t ignite a single spark in your heart. The same thing that once made your heart dance and yelp and clench with joy, desires and longing.. It doesn’t ignite a tiny spark even. You wait for your feels to hit you, you even remind yourself how unconditionally you had loved it, but that feeling just doesnt come back. The universe changes its center then, it no longer revolves around it.

Let me rephrase the first sentence;
Things meant for us have this uncanny capability of finding us at the perfectly wrong time, when we finally stop caring for them.

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